A Competent Communicator

Pastor Emily Matheny was the preacher at my church, Highland Heights United Methodist, for eight years before being transferred to Christ United Methodist a little over a year ago.  In the United Methodist Church it is customary practice for the ministers to move from church to church.
During the time she served at Highland Heights we had many conversations.  The last four years she served was during a very difficult time for me so we became closer.

Mrs. Emily as we called her, demonstrates competent communication as a pastor, friend, mother, and teacher.  She was always willing to sit down and listen, but if she knew she was not available to listen she scheduled another time.  She always made time to ensure she was fully understanding the purpose of the conversation if it was for help or just to listen and share in concern or celebration.  She was honest with her communication through conversation.  I would hope that I do model some of my communication after Mrs. Emily.  She listened first, then asked questions, waited for a response, and sometimes gave an opinion.  She often encouraged me to seek out my answers rather than giving them to me.  She was a school principal before entering the ministry, and I can imagine she was encouraging to the children in a classroom as she was to me.  She was sympathetic, empathetic, honest, trustworthy, and respectful when communicating with others.  She never seemed demanding even when presenting the scriptures or sermons.
I had to call on her many times during her last four years as I mentioned earlier, and never once did I feel like I was neglected or misunderstood.  I felt like we could talk in conversation with a purpose or in general.  Her personality was to care and nurture.  Mrs. Emily is a pastor so she always tries to live by a code of ethics.  I'm sure she was lead by her own morals and values, and she encourages strong Christian morals and values in others. 
Just a few of the conversations we had of me graduating from college and finding a teaching job.  I took care of my grandmother, who also attended this church, for three years before her passing.  In the Fall of that year I got married, shortly after that my dad got married, and the following weekend my mother passed away.  I then began working on the Master's degree I am pursuing now, and through all of this she was encouraging and very hopeful for my future. 
She has a daughter my age so there were many stories and laughs shared.  The conversations were always open with active listening all the way around.

 The above pictures are from my rehearsal and wedding October 10, 2009, in which, Mrs. Emily Matheny officiated.

Professional Hopes and Goals

This post is in response to the end of an eight week course on Perspective Diversity and Equity.

"WE ARE THE WORLD"

At the beginning of the course we were asked to watch several videos from Playing for a Change songs included in those videos were "One Love", "War/No More Troubles", "Imagine", and "Equal Rights". 

Thinking about what I have learned in this course and ways to stand up and make a change I began thinking of other songs that send this same message.  As an early childhood educator I hope to make a difference in the lives of families, children, the educational learning environments, and within the communities I work.   "We are the World"  is the first some that came to mind.  Of course upon searching for video I came across the original, then the many times across the world the song was used, along with the most recent version remade for the devastating earthquake in Haiti.   I finally found this wonderful rendition with pictures of children.  

One hope that I have when I think about working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds I would like to communicate with them by listening to them and hearing the families goals for their children.  I hope to keep an un-bias open mind with regards to the backgrounds.  I think often times when hope and insist that they conform to our culture and our needs, and I am working to put myself in their shoes.  I have never been to another country and I can't imagine what it would be like to move and begin school outside of my culture.  These families have dreams for their children just as American families have dreams for their children.   One hope to remain open and sincere about hearing these families and communicating with them to insure they feel welcome.

One goal you would like to set for the early childhood field related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice is encouraging ece colleagues to be mindful of their biases and careful not to judge, but rather do their best to include all families.  Also, to share their ideas with one another on ways to incorporate diversity into the field.  As I have learned in this class, something I have seen many times, diversity is more than just a book with children of another race.  I believe this is the easy way out to say "yes I have diversity in my classroom" when in actuality you don't really.  One goal to stand up and make a difference through discussing with colleagues ways to change.  To standup for bias statements that I hear in and around me.

I would like to say thank you to all of my colleagues that I have worked with in the last eight weeks. We have worked hard and come a long way, I have really enjoyed reading everyone's blogs and discussion posts.  Together we can make a difference one small step that each of us takes adds up to one big step.  Reminds me of Neil Armstrong and his walk on the moon.  Also, another song that comes time is posted below. 

 
"Joyful Noise" - THE MAN IN THE MIRROR

Welcoming Families From Around the World

Background Info. for this Post - I have been asked to think of a scenario for this week for a class in social justices and diversity. For this scenario, I will be working with a family in an Early Childhood setting of my choice.  
I know nothing about this country, but I chose it because when some of my ancestors came over they came from what was Bohemia at that time.  It is now the Czech Republic.  So I thought why not start there.  As I was doing this I thought about the boy from my family who came over on a boat under a lady's dress in order to escape, from what I don't know.  This could not have been an easy adjustment for him, while he had left his royal family behind and hidden with a servant lady.  He was nine when he arrived. What did the United States entail?  I'm sure it's difficult for children even today.  I figure this assignment would give me a starting place to find out about this country.  The story above is all I've ever known about it. 

Czech Republic
Just arriving in the United States from the Czech Republic is a family that I will be working with this year in our Early Childhood Program.
Preparing myself to be culturally responsive towards this family 

1)  I would look up the language of the country and try and learn at least hello and goodbye along with a few other phrases that would be welcoming to family.
Possible one to let them know that I do not speak Czech -Nemluvím česky .
Hello - Dobrý den
Goodbye -Na shledanou
These and other phrases can be found at Czech Phrases

2)  I would research what the social system of the Czech Republic was like,  the education system, the religions, and the government.  This would help me to get a better idea of what the family had been exposed to in their home culture.   

3)  I would plan a home visit with a translator if one was available and if not would do my best to translate what I could.  I would also ask around to find out if there were places in the community, in which, I could find services for them that would be helpful and put them in touch with those.

4)   I would prepare things in my classroom from their culture words, pictures, or items.  I would also check into foods for snacks. 

5)    I will prepare myself to listen to the family and be understanding of their needs and frustrations, as I'm sure there will be some.  I will work to find ways to connect with this family and not over step their beliefs on parenting.  I will work to with them to help them feel like they are apart of our environment through, language, discipline, and participation.

6)  Look into Early Childhood organizations in the Czech Republic and ways to connect to professionals there. 

It is my hope that these preparations will benefit both me and the family. 

Preparing to work with a family who is from a different country and background than mine or one I am familiar with would be quite the challenge.  Knowing that there are 195 different countries that exist in the world today, and according to the U.S. census bureau the United States' population includes individuals and families from 150 of those there is is good possibility that I will be working with many children that I can not culturally relate too.   I hope that these preparations will allow me to get to know the family and what their goals are for their child's education.   Getting to know them and their social identities will help me form an educational environment that is friendly and welcoming for them.  What I learn through research may also form some biases within myself or bring about some that I was not aware of.  Knowing my background and what I have experienced personally I will be able to set these aside and get to know this family.  I will work through the research to understand things and form partnerships with not only this family but possibly early childhood professionals in the Czech Republic. 

Helpful Web Resources for connecting to the Czech Republic 

Hello Czech Republic 

European Union

Bias, Prejudice, & Oppression - A Personal Side

Age & Sex Related
Just recently in having my house worked on I was talking with someone that would be moving our things out while we have some work done.  While he was working at my house he received a phone call from his 16 year old son.   He asked if I had any children.  I said no but I have one that hangs around that's 16 and driving.  His son had complained to him that he needed to have his breaks looked at, so his dad told him to take it somewhere.  He did then called his dad.  The shop he took it to found nothing wrong with the breaks but found several other things that needed fixing.   His father was convinced the shop had taken advantage of him because of his age. 
This got me to thinking about this class on diversity and the things we have learned and discussed.
I have also experienced age discrimination and bias as it relates to the world of car repairs.  Often as a women I have gone in to get new tires and something looked at with no intention of purchasing anything, but tires. 
I remember at about the age of 18 or so going in and being offered several things for my front end (of the car).   I didn't feel anything wrong and my dad did most of the work on my car.  He hadn't mentioned anything.  I ask the guy at the counter if it was something that could be done at home.  He said well it would be difficult, it requires heavy lifting and tools that I may not have.  I told him my dad had changed the transmission in my car so he could probably do it.  The man didn't ask anything else after that, he fixed my tires and I left.  When I got home I told my dad what happened and he said they were probably just trying to sell me that because I was a girl and didn't know any better  (sexism), and because I was young (ageism).   I did mention that a saw another man come in he got new tires and he left, no problem.  There was another woman there just for an oil change and they told her she needed new tires too.

I also purchased a new car a couple of years ago.  I went and looked with a girl friend at first before taking my husband.  Why because I like to look and shop and he doesn't.  So I thought why not look then take him.  When I went with a girlfriend they were quick to show me anything I wanted, but hesitant to show me under the hood.  When I took my husband they asked him to raise the hood, and take a look.  I was interested, after all I would be driving it and putting gas in it.  I was most interested in the spare was it a doughnut or a full spare.  I can change a tire along with other small mechanic things on a car.  

The bias and prejudice in these incidents diminished equity by not treating young drivers and women the same as men.   

• A frequent gesture of sexism is that "women can't work on cars and don't know anything about them."   This diminishes equity and can make women feel they are not appreciated in the automobile industry. 

•  In buying a car "they just want it too look good".  Well who doesn't.  

• A young driver gets the ageism comment "they parents are probably giving them the money" or "daddy's buying". 
•   I worked as a teen and I didn't appreciate those comments at all.  If it broke I had to fix it or pay to have it fixed.

This made me feel like I was not suppose to be capable of learning about cars, working on cars, or even smart enough to know when I'm being jerked around when purchasing things for my car.

The employees who are selling cars, car parts, and mechanics need to change to not make offers about things unless it is specifically ask and when make offers make them to everyone.  I understand that in this business like any other it is about making money.  The man offering me could have said I think you might need to have what ever the part was looked at and then left it to me.  Instead of saying this needs to be replaced would it be ok if we fixed that for you.  A lot of negativity come from the way things are worded.  Sometimes this can come from women towards women as much as from men.   The salesmen and the industry in general would need to change some of their own biases and work toward becoming an anti-bias environment just as teachers are working toward making a diverse filled anti-bias learning environment.